Today
is 30 December. I am on a train bound from Kharkiv to Kyiv. Tomorrow I will fly
to Switzerland to ring in the New Year with my daughter and her family. It will
be a nice way to start the next year.
For
a lot of people, New Year is a time to pause and look back not only on the past
year but on how they’ve lived their lives up to this point. They look at what they
accomplished or failed to accomplish in the past year, what good and bad things
came their way, and they make some determination about whether it was a good or
bad year. Then, usually, they usually feel some level of determination to make
the next year better.
New
Year is often about setting goals, making changes, doing and living better. We
make those famous (or infamous, as the case may be) New Year resolutions. We
“resolve” to change what we think needs changing. Maybe we need to stop a bad
habit or adopt a good one. We resolve to work out more, lose weight, stop
smoking, work harder, not work so hard, be more responsible, lighten up a
little, be nicer to the people around us… yada, yada, yada.
Resolving to Not Resolve
Many
scoff at the whole notion of making such resolutions. After all, the success
rate for New Year resolutions is probably less than five percent. We have good
intentions and greet the New Year with feelings of enthusiasm and
determination, but after a short while – a few weeks or maybe just a few days
(or hours) – we fail to keep the resolution. We fall back into familiar
patterns, and the whole idea of the resolution falls to the wayside.
Nothing
changes, and we feel even worse for the failure.
I
understand the skepticism. I have certainly had my share of failed resolutions,
and because of that, I haven’t really made any for at least a few years. But I
have made them in the past, and sometimes I was successful. I recall some years
back when I had fallen out of my exercise routine for some time, and I resolved
to start attending a gym and getting back in shape. I joined Holiday Health
Club, which later became Balley’s Fitness. Not only did I stick with it, I got
into the best shape of my life.
Getting Help
I’ve
often wondered why that worked out while some similar attempts in more recent
years have not. I guess one reason was the environment. At that time, I quickly
fell in with a great group of people who really motivated me to want to be at
the gym every evening. I met some of the best people I have ever known in my
life, and many of them are still good friends so many years later.
The
social aspect of a fitness center cannot be overlooked. If you don’t have a
relationship partner to help motivate you and push you, then a group of friends
like that is the next best thing. I wanted to be at the gym to work out, for
sure, but it was so much more motivating to see and talk with friends, get
together after the gym, make plans for weekend get-togethers and just generally
enjoy an active social life. It was a
special time.
I
have had a couple of other successful (at least for a time) New Year
resolutions. But like the great majority of people, most of my resolutions have
been half-hearted and didn’t last. But in this regard, at least, I’ve been in
good company.
It’s
been a lot harder to stick with any kind of personal resolution in these latest
years of living alone and not having that same kind of close-knit group to
motivate and support. But it is not impossible; it just means that there has to
be a deeper desire and a stronger will. But those are two things I seem to have
lost. Giving up and giving in is easier, and there hasn’t been sufficient
reason to turn away from “easy.”
That’s
why I haven’t made resolutions much in recent years. I know they won’t last, so
what’s the point?
The Proverbial Fresh Start
Actually,
I think there can be value in using New Year as a time to resolve to improve.
There is no other time of the year that presents us with such a strong and
distinct feeling of newness – new opportunity and new hope. If only for the
psychological aspect, it is a perfect moment to start fresh – and we always
like the idea of getting a fresh start. But, the resolution has to be
meaningful, and one has to have the determination and motivation to see it through.
Sometimes
we also need some external help. The caring support of a close person, together
with some strictness when necessary, can go a long way toward helping a
resolution take hold and the change to blossom. If that strictness is perceived
as, or actually is, just nagging, then it’s no help at all. But when it is a
sincere desire to help, and when the person trying to change recognizes the
love behind the pushing, then it can make a world of difference.
So,
am I making a resolution this year? Well, I guess I would not be writing this
if I wasn’t looking at the opportunity for a fresh start at something. But I’m
not going to shout it out to the world here – I’ve done that before and it was
a losing proposition. I’ll just challenge myself; I will know whether I’ve
failed or succeeded, and that is enough.
What
about you? Are you ready to change something and make 2015 a better year?
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p.s. It Was a Good Year
In
the beginning of this post I mentioned that people often look back at the year
that is ending and engage in some retrospective evaluation. “Was it a good year
or a bad one?” “Did I achieve or fail?” I think it’s not a bad thing to stop
and take stock of how things have gone.
And
what about me? Well, I have been taking a good look at 2014 lately and asking
myself if I would consider it a good one or one I’d rather forget. To be sure,
I’ve had some challenges and difficulties, mainly physical, and I’ve lost a
fair amount of money due to the problems in Ukraine and the plummeting value of
the hryvnia. But there has been a lot more good than bad… a LOT more.
It
has been a good year indeed, and I expect 2015 to be even better.
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