Hard to Hold Back the Hate

Hate is an emotion that I reject. But sometimes holding back that feeling is agonizingly difficult.

A short time ago I learned that at least two people were killed (one report says it was three) and 12 injured today by a terrorist attack in my city, Kharkiv. Apparently, cowardly terrorists – clearly associated with and supported by Russian-backed separatists – planted an antipersonnel bomb timed to explode as a peaceful crowd of people showing their support for Ukraine was passing by. There are indications that they were trained and received their equipment in Russia.

The victims and their colleagues were rallying for peace in this country and honoring the 100 people killed in Kyiv a year ago by the corrupt (and also Russian-backed) Yanukovich government during the Euromaidan protests. The outrage over that massacre helped to overturn the government shortly thereafter and send Yanukovich slinking off to hide in Russia. The fact that these patriots were showing support for their country and a desire for the war to end made them targets of despicable, low-brow animals who willingly do the bidding of that heinous despot in the Kremlin.

My immediate reaction to the news was visceral. It was the kind of feeling I’ve been experiencing all too often lately when I see what is happening to Ukraine, what Russia and its sycophantic minions in Donetsk and Lugansk are doing to this country.

Ukraine Under Siege – Hard Not to Hate

It is really difficult to hold back the hate these days.

In recent weeks, as I’ve watched Putin pretend to participate in peace talks while simultaneously sending more and more lethal equipment – and his own Russian soldiers – across the border into the Donbas region, it’s been hard not to simply hate the man. I’ve seen photos and video of the low-life criminals in Donbas who are charitably called "separatists," and it has been very difficult to not let my feelings cross over into pure hate.

As I see Ukraine’s economy fall further and further toward collapse and see the value of the currency spin down into previously unfathomable depths, and as I see the terrible impact it is having on the Ukrainian people, especially those I care deeply about, it is all I can do to stop from hating all of Russia and Donbas for causing this.

As I hear and read about the terrible casualties among Ukrainian soldiers and innocent civilians in the east, see photos and videos of the carnage, and see the fear in the eyes of people here who worry that they too might be drawn into the conflict – either through mobilization into the military or actual war coming to the city – it is almost impossible to repress the desire to see the terrorists and their Russian masters receive equal measures of retribution… and more.

As I see the mindless acceptance of lie after lie disseminated by the Kremlin’s propaganda machine – seemingly intelligent people in Russia and Donbas turned into hypnotized zombies by Putin and his obedient media – I can only shake my head in sadness and disbelief. I feel sorry for them, but I don’t hate them.

Amazingly weak "leaders" in Europe and the USSA refuse to take any concrete actions to help Ukraine defend itself. They are too afraid of Russia and, in the case of Europe, too worried about having their supplies of Russian oil and gas cut off. They talk a good game about democracy, territorial sovereignty, the rights of nations, and so forth, but they are too self-absorbed to actually act on these lofty principles. Still... I don't hate them.

In all of this, it is becoming harder and harder to not just hate them all.

Hate Never Helps

When I was young and stupid, it was not so difficult to say, “I hate this,” or “I hate that.” But I learned that hate is a useless, even counterproductive, emotion. For a long time now, I have tried to take a higher road, a more positive and forgiving perspective, and not let hate be a serious part of my vocabulary.

Of course, we often say things like, “I hate it when the bus is late,” or things like that, but it’s just an expression of frustration, not true hate. But perhaps even such expressions should be avoided.

In my life, there have been people who have done wrong to me, some in minor ways and some in very major ways. But I have learned not to hate them.

There are many people and groups in our world with whom I strongly disapprove of or disagree. But I don’t hate them. I believe the current president of the USSA is a feckless leader, a terrible manager of the nation and economy, and a perpetuator of a failed ideology who is tearing my own country apart and making it a laughing stock around the world. But I don’t hate the man.

I regret that so many of my countrymen who knew better simply did not bother to vote in the last two presidential elections and that so many who did vote were mislead by the slick propaganda and put that man into the White House twice. But I don’t hate them for it.

My heart sometimes boils over with frustration at the ineffective leadership in Europe and the USSA, and the resulting dangers that are increasing as a result – especially as it relates to Ukraine. The majority of these “leaders” are corrupt, selfish and taking actions that only protect or enrich themselves, usually at the expense of the people they have pledged to serve. But, still, I don’t hate them.

What to Do When it Affects You?

There are all kinds of evil terrorists in the world, especially in the Islamic world. I want to see them defeated – killed if necessary – but I cannot say that I hate them. Perhaps it’s because most of them have not affected me directly. No one I know has been hurt or killed by the actions of ISIS, Al Qaeda, Boko Harum or similar groups. Maybe if I lost someone in those situations, I would be driven over the edge. I hope that time will never arrive.

But the terrorists in Ukraine have affected me directly: they directly threaten people I care about, and they are wrecking the economy, which directly affects all of us here. And I feel as though I am on that proverbial edge. These are terrible, terrible people; words cannot express how angry I am or how I feel about them. But I do not want to use the word hate.

I really do not want to feel hate for the people who are tearing this country apart and mindlessly killing and destroying, and I will continue to do my best not to let myself slide into that mindset. But it is getting very, very hard.

Below is a video clip of the explosion:

Ironically, today is Forgiveness Sunday in the Orthodox Church.

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* Follow-up: The death toll was officially set at three on Monday, the day after the attack, when a 15-year-old boy died in the hospital from a massive head wound. Officials say now that 10 people were wounded.

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