Writing

Sometimes writing seems so easy for me. In those moments, my mind is clear and the words flow like a rushing mountain stream. And sometimes they even make sense.

But more often, writing is hard. It feels like a chore. My mind is muddled, distracted, pulled in a thousand directions. I have too many things I want to write about, and in the process of thinking about all of them, I find that I can't focus on one. And when I am able to decide on one thing to write about, I find that my thoughts on that topic are scattered. 

This is especially true if the thing I need to write about is particularly emotional. Trying to write an important letter, for example, can be frustrating as the tides of my emotions rise and fall from anger to wishing, from sadness to hoping. And blog posts are much the same: often I have conflicting thoughts and feelings on the subject, and it can be difficult to corral them all and cut out the right ones.

One of my biggest problems with blog posts is that I have a tendency to make them much too long. Blog posts should be relatively short and focused on a small part of a bigger subject, not the whole enchilada. This is something I want to change with this post. Oh, there will still be longer pieces - a jaguar can't completely change his spots - but I know that I should write shorter and publish more.

Frequently, I have moments of profound thought about certain subjects, but those are only thinking moments, not writing moments. I might be in the shower, lying in bed before or after sleep, walking to or from work, or in any of a number of situations where my mind works but it's not convenient to write. The great ideas fade from my memory without ever being recorded - unless, of course, I happen to think of them at the right moment later.

This kind of mental confusion, this writer's block, has handicapped me particularly in the kind of writing that I've felt for years I was meant to do: novels. I have seen myself as a novelist in waiting since I had hair - hell, even since before it began to thin.

Recently, I put together my best story ideas, fleshed them out, and asked some key people for their opinions. Then I chose one and started writing. It's still been a little slow, but at least I got it started and have been trying to keep some momentum going. Some recent life events, however, have made it exceedingly hard to focus on anything else, but I am trying.

In his quasi-autobiography, On Writing, Stephen King mentioned that one key to success is disciplining yourself to set a certain amount of time daily to write - something, anything. Even if it's not good, he believes you have to put something down, you have to have a daily goal of words or pages. You can always change it later, and you will, no matter if it's good or not. I believe he is right.

I've noticed too that there are four things that are essential for me if I am going to write successfully. One is to find the best environments in which to write - places that are quiet and where my mind can open up. And they can't be at home; my apartment is depressing and a terrible place for inspiration.

The next thing is staying off the Internet. I recognize that over the years, I have fallen into something of an addiction to the feeling of connection the Internet can give a person. I suppose this come from feeling so alone in real life most of the time. But I know I have to deal with the aloneness, maybe even embrace it and use it in my writing. 

The third thing is to renew my spiritual connection. Over the past few years, I've allowed that to become weak as I have been more consumed with work and relationship issues. I need more connection with the universal source of creativity. I need to meditate more and free myself to think in a wider, more open way.

Finally, I have to feel good. I have to feel healthy, energetic and positive. This comes from three things: eating good food, getting enough exercise, and having positive relationships with one or a few close people. Only the first two depend entirely on me, and I've not done my best with those in the past. But I can - and must - do better. As for the third, well, it's not up to me alone - I can only try to do the best that I can do and then hope for the best.

Short blog post finished. Time to work on the book.

--------------------------------------------------------------------