Missing the Good Stuff

It’s interesting how you can often find yourself missing something that you walked away from because you recognized it wasn’t good for you. It might have been a place you lived, a job, or most especially a person.

After some time, you look at this person or thing less critically and are able to remember the good aspects, the things you miss. If it’s a person, you miss the times you enjoyed together, moments that meant something important and left a deep memory. You miss the love that was shared, even if that love dissolved into disappointment and hurt.

Without thinking of the pain, you can still remember the look in her or his eyes when they were locked with your own, and you recall the exhilaration you felt in your heart as you sent messages through those eyes and deep into each other’s hearts. Warm memories surface of walking hand in hand, sharing meals, talking for hours, gently wiping away a tear, or holding each other quietly.

You might find yourself wishing that things could have been different, that you wouldn’t have had to walk away. You wish that the bad parts hadn’t been so bad that they overpowered the good parts. This is especially true if, at the time, you believed it had a promising future, that it was real, that it would last and be good for a long time. This is when it hurts the most. You wonder why it had to be this way. 

But it did, and there it is.

The same can be said of a job that was good for a time and then spiraled off into something that just wasn’t right for you any longer. Maybe you just outgrew it; maybe you felt stagnated. It might have been that conditions changed. Perhaps the specific work you had been doing wasn’t available anymore, and the new project or position you were given was not a good match for you. A new person or new people might have come in and changed the dynamic. Maybe something bad happened, a personal conflict or something similar.

At any rate, what had been working no longer worked, so you had to make the big decision to leave and find something new. But after some time, you can look back and remember the things you enjoyed, or even loved, about that job.

And it’s not just relationships or jobs. Maybe you got tired of living in a particular city, region or country because the weather got you down after some years, or perhaps a lot of new people moved in and changed what you had previously loved about the place. So you pack up and move to someplace new. And after some time, you’re able to look back fondly at the aspects of that earlier place that you miss. It could be the same for a house or apartment.

Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a place or something else, it’s natural to look back sometimes and remember the good stuff. In fact, it’s healthy: it’s better to focus on the positive than to always regard something in a negative light.

But even when you look back and smile, you have to keep it in perspective. You know it’s over, and there’s no going back. And even if there was a way to go back, you shouldn’t want to. You remember that, ultimately, it was bad for you, and that’s why it ended. We all have to move forward and leave the past behind.

But still, sometimes you can’t help missing the good stuff.

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